2.“Explain the purpose”
Try and express why this is so important to you as well as what it means for other people. Friedman gives the example; “By my devoting this effort now I’ll be able to ____, which is important to us because it’ll help us to ____.”
3.“Ask about consequences”
Find out what impact your increased commitment to work is going to have on them – will they have to give up something they love doing to look after the kids when you’re at work? Will your friend have to find someone else to take your spot on a sports team?
4.“Express genuine remorse”
Your actions are having a negative impact on their life – show that you haven’t lost touch with how they feel but remind them that it’s only temporary.
5.“Explore possible alternatives”
Ask if they have any ideas for how you could improve the situation, suggests Friedman, and find out what they expect of you and what situations they prefer.
“Maybe driving your daughter to school is more important to her than your being home for dinner. Your spouse might be happy to meet you in town for dinner, even if you have to return to the office while he or she heads home afterward. Maybe they don’t care so much if your travel increases or the length of your workday increases, as long as they have your undivided attention when you are at home,” he explains. “You won’t know until you ask.”
When things finally ease off at work, Friendman suggests marking the end of a difficult period with some sort of celebration – you made it though, after all.